Book – Dare to Lead

It is the first book I read from Brene Brown. I knew the author and her work through social media, and her quotes and humbleness were always quite impressive. And of course, her Ted Talk – The power of vulnerability was one of my favorites!

If someone asks me today what is my favorite book, I will tell Dare to Lead from Brene Brown. So today I wanted to share a little bit about the book and me.

I can’t describe the audience who I would recommend this book! I would say to everyone who wants to be a better person to the world and engage fully with people.

I read the book twice already, the first one was when I tried to keep up the reading with the Read-Along Linkedin, making questions to the author…and… my questions were not mentioned in the videos, but it was a good experience!

Then I decided to have the book in my nightstand and dig in the parts it interested me the most, not even following the chapters…the book is too rich in the content, so I marked the book with the parts impacted the most.

  • Vulnerability is disclosure
  • Digging into shame
  • Empathy vs Sympathy

I can’t find space to talk all about the things I am learning through this book but within the authenticity of our inner and the courage to show up as we are, is making me smile and thinking, I want to be like that! If I need to build a brand of myself, I wanted to be a Daring Leader.

So I am sharing 2 examples that recently I am practicing the Daring Leadership. As the book also talks about all these skills can be acquired how much we need to practice.

“In tough conversations, hard meetings, and emotionally charged decision making, leaders need the grounded confidence to stay tethered to their values, respond rather than react emotionally, and operate from self-awareness, not self-protection. Having the rumbling skills to hold the tension and discomfort allows us to give care and attention to others stay open and curious, and meet the challenges.”  page 168

Dare_To_Lead


It is ok to disclosure our personal experiences and openly sharing emotions in all cases. This can be possible if we create a safe environment where people can feel safe to rumble. This environment can be created intentionally to our team or at home.

And after reading this chapter (Rumble with Vulnerability) I decided it is ok. So I am doing this, with my team, with my family, making sure we can have the “hard conversations”.

At work, this puts me sometimes in a very uncomfortable situation, if  I want to be intentional, I need to give it a start…, being authentic and =vulnerable is not a natural state of humans, but it is worth it.

At work, I decided to help a colleague who is struggling with her manager, passing through a hard time, and in her mind, it comes to the job insecurity. So as her mentor, I started first to tell a story that I can resonate with her, then I told her “Lets rumble as much as we can for 15 min!” We ended up laughing and joking and putting the situation in perspective. The conflict with her manager still is there, but the feeling created is about there is a place in the organization where it is ok to rumble and think through a way to get it out, feeling better is a comfort.

I dare to have that role, as it is too close to me! So we can go out of the politics and mostly joke of all the situations, and the results are only one…feeling better. I am not there to save her or to fix the situation, but to bring her a different perspective.

I think about the vulnerability also in parenting! And it is being a great experience with my son who is 12 yo. Especially because he has this feeling of low confidence in himself and then he behaves completely in defense and is perceived as arrogant and sometimes closed in his shell. So I put myself first asking intentionally about his friends and his feelings…as you can imagine I can’t have nothing at first unless I tell him about my feelings when I was in his age, and my struggles and I can totally understand if he feels the same. After this…he starts to rumble so hard…and I allow him…I wanted him to feel safe at home, where he can express himself.

This week we went to Walmart, and I was asking him if he wants to buy some shorts and t-shirts, as they were on sale. He said no…but a NO…like don’t even think about it. So I stopped and asked him why…he started to cry, and I couldn’t think at first why, but then I got it! He doesn’t want Walmart clothes! Of course not`8, they are not cool and they are cheap!

So I told him I understand very well his feeling… I don’t like either, but there is trick…the basics are ok to have from Walmart, that nobody can see they are from the cheap supermarket, but then you have a few clothes branded that put you in the cool space!

Man… if you ask me if I agree with this! NO… but it is not the moment to tell him off.  I remember my frustration when I was in middle school and be in the group who was not cool because didn’t have the Lewis 501. I understand the feeling… I do!  There is a lot of pressure, so instead embrace the suck and help through his journey, and find alternatives. And it is better he feels safe at home, right?

Thank you

AnnaJo

 

 

Book – Girl Stop Apologizing

Today I wanted to share the book from Rachel Hollis, Girl Stop Apologizing. This is the book which I recommend to all women who are entrepreneurs, working in an organization, stay at home moms… single ladies!

Girl_Stop_Apologizing

Why? – This is the type of conversation I would have with my close friends or the conversations that Sex and the City ladies would have, like for example Miranda or Charlotte were struggling to be a mom, and work, and marriage, and personal dreams.

This is the type of book, that made me feel I am not alone, and it is ok to dream, it is ok to fail, and it is ok to ask for help.

This book has the full acknowledgment of we actually feel with no shame, but better is the advice to structure a plan to drive our goals. For me, it is working well, at first I felt like, Awe…ok…so I am not a bad mom…!! I need to think about my plan!

There were 2 chapters that actually impacted me the most:

Excuse #3 – I don’t have time

This is the biggest trap for me. Me and my husband are the biggest supporters of each other, but we are really bad about organizing our time, and now with 2 children, and no support from close family, it is being a daily challenge.

Also, we are both dreamers, and we have so many projects, that is impossible to keep up without arguing who is picking up the baby to daycare. The other day it was almost closing time, like 6pm, and we were back and forward in the phone, it is not my day, it is yours!! Of course, we got late and the baby was the last child to be picked, and she was sat with the room teacher, in the office. Plus we got a warning that next time we will be charged by each minute late $1!!!

After this, we decided to follow a simple thing mentioned in the book. Give time to do weekly schedule. We are doing it, it takes like 1 hour or so on Sunday, and it is worth it! Last week, I thank my husband, for him dropping the baby at daycare so I could go to an earlier meeting in the office, scheduled last minute. As it was my turn I felt I had to thank him to support me, instead of having the type of words, you have to because I need to attend this meeting, as it is so important, or I lose my job!

I have to tell…it was kind of sexy, this smile back from him, telling me, It is ok! 🙂

Then the other thing it was to embrace the ME time. Means if I want to develop my personal projects, like my blog and my coaching certification, I need to set some time in the week, as my sacred hours. Since last month I am having: Tuesdays and Wednesdays after work, those are my sacred ours!

Excuse #8 – What will they think

This is another trap of mine.

I always think about what the others are thinking of me. And if I think deeply, I believe it is cultural, or the environment I was raised. I always had my mom saying to me, “Don’t laugh too loud, the others will think you aren’t a well-behaved girl”.

This one is not an easy one, as it is been years and years of living what the others are thinking, and afraid to be categorized in a box that I don’t want to, and not fitting in…it is a lot!

But Rachel Hollis did a flowchart about other people’s opinions, and I am an engineer… I love flowcharts!

And as you can see, all the boxes go to a conclusion: Don’t Worry!

Flowchart_Other_Peoples_Opinions

Thank You

AnnaJo

 

Book – How Women Rise

Last weekend one of my visits to Barnes&Noble, I found a book unexpectedly, and had one of these good surprises of finding a good book that I didn’t hear about before! I always get so happy when that happens…and also get a little bit of the FOMO (fear of missing out) feeling! 🙂

The book is “How Women Rise” by Sally Helgesen and Marshal Goldsmith. The book talks about the 12 behaviors that women have which hold them back in their career:

  • Habit 1 – Reluctance to claim your achievements
  • Habit 2 – Expect others to spontaneously notice and reward your contribution
  • Habit 3 – Overvaluing expertise
  • Habit 4 – Building rather than leveraging relationships
  • Habit 5 – Failing to enlist allies from day one
  • Habit 6 – Putting your job before your career
  • Habit 7 – The perfection trap
  • Habit 8 – The disease to please
  • Habit 9 – Minimizing
  • Habit 10 – Too much
  • Habit 11 – Ruminating
  • Habit 12 – Letting your radar distract you

Not surprising at first when I read the list of habits described in the book. Most of the behaviors are discussed in some of the forums of women where I participate. But when reading habit #6 that made me think and it was a bit surprising!

How women rise

Quote from the book: “Jobs are stepping-stones on the way to something else.  There is no shame in using where you are to position yourself for what you want next.”

This is it!

This is the reason that I am 14 years in the same company and never had an invite for a job that I really wanted to. I only start to talk to people and look after what is available at the moment when I am ready to move on. This means when I start the conversations with someone I already expect something from them and the anxiety increases. My learning curve in my current role is at the top, and I checked out already!

We cant checked out while we are in a role… naturally the performance decreases!

Outperforming in a role is the perfect timing to look after other roles, there is no stress for the opportunity to come, shows maturity and higher self-awareness, also will attract more people who want to help.

Watch out: the statement I am so happy where I am, I love what I do, is not enough!! Add also, I am learning so much and will be prepared for my future next step… sounds much better! YES!!! Who dares to do this? I don’t know women who do this…and honestly, I can predict listening even within the women saying, “Just started this role, already thinking in the next one!”

This is big learning! Doing a great job and look after the career means vision!

“The world needs ambitious women! WHY NOT YOU?”

Thank you

AnnaJo

Become aware of the unconscious bias!

This past weekend I caught up myself in a group of parents during a soccer match of my 12-year old son, while my baby daughter was playing with a ball, saying: “My baby girl…looks like she loves soccer so much! Oh no!… I wish she goes for gymnastics or dance!” When I said that, I realized immediately! “What am I saying!!” What am I thinking?”

Honestly, I didn’t even realize that I was thinking like that! I didn’t think, I just said!… which is even scarier for my side!

Now that I am becoming more aware,… I think…, I noticed that I said to my son, while he was writing a postcard to a friend for his birthday party, also this weekend, …”Are you writing a postcard, with a pink envelope? Your friend is a boy!!”

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

I don’t want to think like this at all! I refuse to have these stereotypes! I am not sure what I can do? I am a strong advocate of gender equity, and also a stronger believer that this comes from education, so I wanted my son becomes a man who supports the women. We have been having great discussions about it! He acknowledges when the difference is happening and we talk about it. Even if the subject comes as the biggest event of the Women Wrestling, WWE.

I am just sharing this, as I believe there are plenty of situations that we don’t even think,  which are present the gender bias, and it is not at the workplace it is happening, it is happening in our personal life with our families. We can’t accept any more, the expression: “Oh never mind, they are being boys!”, and think about that…. there isn’t the expression “Oh never mind, they are being girls!”. Actually, if this expression is said would be perceived as more a kind of judgemental.

I have a daughter and a son! And it has been an eye-opener how different I behave with the simples things for a boy and a girl…and I am sure this will impact them and the future leaders and the decisions they will make! The gender bias can only be mitigated through education. But for that, we need to be aware and take action… please do not ignore, face this as a reality that comes from many centuries.

It is ok the boys and girls play together with the little kitchen together! Like my daughter and nephew… but when they were playing it was inevitable, to listen to the comment why the boy has a kitchen?

Boys_Girls_Playing_with_the_kitchen

We are on a journey!

A journey of becoming aware of the unconscious bias.

A journey of acceptance, so please think! The gender gap is not only about women it is also about men. It is not only about to empower the girls for the future but also raise the respectful and kind boys of the future.

Thank you

AnnaJo

Community and international career

Last weekend, when I wrote the post about the 4 domains of Life and the assessment of the time through those domains: Self, Home, Work, Community, I got shocked that currently i don’t have a circle of community! The other ones, like big in work, then home, and smaller in Self is expected, but I didn’t realize about community…

Then I was thinking, my activities which aren’t work, aren’t home based and not for myself… like being a soccer mom, chaperone some of the events at school (not so many, but a couple per year), I considered family!

Friends…are community! Sadly…I don’t have a big group of friends, I have good colleagues at work, but friends, I didn’t reach that level yet.

Well, pretty sad, if I think like that! Right?

So I decided to make first a reflection of the WHY. I am not a bad person, I love to connect and actually I am an extrovert. So what is going on?

After doing a retrospective in time, we have moved to live in different countries 3 times in 8 years. We choose for an International career.

We found different cultures and completely different ways to interact with people. I believe these experiences made me and my family grow imensily. Our resilience, our capacity to come over problems quicker, the core family getting closer and the ability to look at things in a different perspective made us get out of our comfort zone, and be more flexible.

But everything has a cost… and have a community is important. I remember when I had my baby last year, I didn’t have anyone to stay with me just after giving birth, as my husband had to work because he was a contractor.

But at the same time, I had my neighbors coming to my house, even if I didn’t know them very well, they were knocking the door, asking if I need anything, with a tray of food.

Community and International career

This was beautiful!!

The same situation where I was feeling lonely, I had a great experience that made me connect closer to my new neighborhood with a new baby, and I have to admit, there wasn’t a day that someone didn’t come to my house… I feel grateful and blessed, I went to live in this neighborhood.

Also I am learning it is about us to give the step to connect more and take more the initiative…this takes time, but it is worth it. We are going always to be the foreign people, but this doesn’t mean a bad thing.

I believe it is a question of time that I will create the feeling and the habit of being part of a community, and increase the size of my community domain. I think it is about to adopt the giving mindset, and look after an environment where my heart connects and wants to give back.

Thank you

AnnaJo

Assess yourself – within the 4 domains in life

Lately I have been talking about dreams and goals a lot!

And I got it! The first step is to give permission to ourselves to dream! In our busy lives do what our heart is calling and give a voice to what we try to shut down inside of ourselves… is a lot! Beyond of the possibility of your dream coming true or not, forget it!! It is about first to dream out loud!

Dreaming is beautiful!…but it can be a bit overwhelming, when we decide to follow our dreams and then can’t decide where/when/how to start…I know looks like a joke, right? But manage the dreams out loud could be too much…so how to organize them and go from a dreamer stage to a doer status.

I found some help in the book from Stew Friedman, Total Leadership, where he categorizes four circles in life, to find the balance and be happy.

These four circles, or the four domains in life as defined in the book are:

  • Self
  • Home
  • Work
  • Community

I love this definition as I can understand where I am, and define my AS IS, and what activities I need to shuffle around to have more time in the things I  want to do and fulfill me more. Remember now as you shouted out your dream is time to assess where you are…where you are spending your time to do anything else from what is your current routine.

Mr Friedman has a whole course of Total Leadership, that you can take online, I did it in Coursera, but my biggest takeaway is the self awareness from those 4 domains in my life and using as a model of attention to balance where I am and where I want to go. And because the time doesn’t add more hours, how to shuffle things around and get the best out of it.

This also helps me identifying the things that I can’t skip right now, and live better with, avoiding the frustration that I may feel when my baby is sick (which is happening , the little things from a baby going to a daycare) and she can’t sleep well, so I can’t sleep well, so I can’t have the same morning routines as ideally I would love to have, or the same productivity as I would expect.

So what I use is in an excel file, fill out the activities in each domain, then correspond an average of hours per day spent in those activities, and then it gives a % per day.  Plot in a 3D Bubble chart to have a sense where the time is been spent, and remember, there is a must for remaining time to sleep.

Take a look in the table…

4 domains in life assessment

And the graph will look like this…

4 circles_ANA

Is it true???! I don’t have a bubble of community! How is that possible???? It is a shock!

But now from here I can imagine where I want to go, as my next step this year, and what actions should I take to reach my goal for each domain, like this:

  • SELF – I want to grow with my blog and with my coaching life.
  • HOME – I want to plan a family holiday in the beach and have 2 date nights per month with my husband.
  • WORK – I want to be recognized as a great manager.
  • COMMUNITY – I want to build and look after a Women Community where I can support and give back with my coaching skills.

With this I think I can have more clarity to draw my roadmap and write it down the tasks and actions that I need to have in each domain.

The first time I was doing it, I forgot that the day has only 24 hours, and I was having 34 hours in total!! Crazy, right?

There is one thing is that the goals can’t be too many and disconnected. Otherwise there is no focus.

Give it a try to start to do it and reflect in your AS IS. So you can project your future and be realistic about your dreams!

Please never give up!

Thank you

AnnaJo

New habits – from fear to willpower!

Starting the journey of personal development, there is one common thing which is about the awareness of your habits and the power of change them and stick to them in order to reach your dreams!

What?!!! If I have a dream, I should be myself and I should stick to who I am! Right?

The answer is YES!! BUT… to be yourself, happy and fulfilled…what are the habits that will take me to where I want to be…

Great question, right?

Then within my coaching session, she asked:

What is your biggest fear?

I said… get sick and not be able to see and help my children grow! I have a baby who needs me! A boy who is 12 years old. They need me so much!

Then there was the question in return…what are you doing about your well being which will improve your health?

And here it was when I freaked out… because if I think in my list of well being habits, I need to admit I am not doing good… I am not having the proper breakfast, lunch is a sandwich in my desk in front of a laptop, I am not drinking much water, or at least the quantity I have been drinking, sometimes I skip dinner time, or eat something that I even don’t remember when my husband is not at home… even my basic Portuguese habits that could be present by the culture in my country are fading…there is no fish available, there is no lunch time set at work, the vegetables are so expensive, that even the cheapest and quickest meal I could have, like a vegetable soup is not available in the canteen or restaurants. Also I am not working out consistently…Also I am always stressed out as I don’t have time for nothing…Also sometimes I multitask in the car while I am driving!!

Ah!! A positive…I do my physical every year, and until last year my results were ok… so no alarms… I consider myself healthy, but am I taking care of me enough?

Well…here starts the challenge…I feel maybe not!

So I have a list that I created in order to be healthier and beat my biggest fear… As a normal human I don’t react in fear at least conscientiously for long time otherwise it would become a frustration. But creating an habit that feels good, brings pleasure, fun, the brain will recognize it as a need, and feels bad if you don’t do it! Like brushing the teeth everyday! Of course!!

Then it is considered a new habit if you do it for 30 days in a row without cheating… otherwise you need to start all over again. Some books say 30 days others say 21 days… I believe that depends of the habit, and the impact of the change in the daily routine.

Here it goes the 3 things that I am trying to accomplish in the bucket of well being:

  • Morning routine – still working in progress, beyond shower, kids and leave the house with a cup of coffee, what else I need to create an habit to be less stressed… my mornings are sometimes a bit hectic!! I am in a do/test mode, but I am working on one thing which I believe that fits and help me for the day, have a green smoothie or similar.
  • Work out 4 times a week, I had set this goal one month ago, and until now it is not an habit as I am reaching only 3 times per week, so I consider work in progress.
  • Eat healthier. This one I am relying on my husband and be a partner in his journey of Plant Paradox, which we are doing 50% of it. We believe it is already a big improvement from where we were. I consider work in progress, and there is a lot of change from introducing new ingredients to the way of cooking.

I believe I am aware now that is not only about setting the goal but it is also about how to accomplish the goal in a way that feels good. And then start the 30 day in a row without cheating :). I feel when you say from now I am doing something new everyday, you need first to test it and adapt it for yourself to be sustainable after the 30 days.

Like working out, I started to have this goal for a while, so I applied to a local gym, which I went during 3 months and then I am paying without going… you can understand that being a working mom, there are a lot of commitments with the family. So I decided to do at home, my husband set up the basement nicely with a TV, which I can pick up some work out routines from Youtube. Then it came the question, which routines should I pick up, that aren’t boring and keep me engaged. Finally I found a channel,  Popsugar Fitness, which is about 30 min workout, fun, light and has a variety of group exercises type. This works me. Then it was about the timing, when am I going to work out? I cant do in the morning (yet) so I need to do it after work 2 days a week plus the weekend. With this set up I believe I can build the habit…plus I need to put on my sneakers, as first I was going barefoot, as it was at home…but no!!…the sneakers must be on! Also sometimes there is a baby buddy…but it is ok! 🙂

Working out no matter what

Reminding the trigger in me… the need to work on these habits, and not in a way, I am gonna do it from now on, but in a conscientious way with my pace… I need to be more organized, less stressed, eat better and exercise…all of this in theory will make me live better and able to raise my kids and be a healthy grandmother in the future! Wow!!…it is a pretty hard perspective, right?

Interesting, that along the coaching sessions I had level up these habit’s triggers from the basic feeling of fear to the level up of willpower and ambition to rise for dreams, as I can only be an influencer, writer and speaker if I work on it and have time within my time to make it happen! So I need to be more organized, less stressed, eat better and exercise to manage my energy, feel better and do it all. 🙂

Thank you

AnnaJo

 

 

 

Be who you want to be – Lolly Daskal (Interview)

I follow Lolly Daskal in the social media and her work for a while. I see Lolly as the encyclopedia of Leadership. She has a lot of experience in the field, working with the big organizations, and influential CEO’s. I share her website in my top 5 sources of information.

I had the pleasure to meet Lolly Daskal in an event, WOBI in NYC end of last year. We were sitting next to each other all the event! Me and Lolly really connected, and I dared to ask her if I could interview her! I prepared the questions…I put the phone on the AVR PRO on, and record the interview!! It was a beautiful and inspiring conversation!

It took a little bit of time to make the transcript, I mean too long… as I was feeling I was not in the level to have it! But you know…, Lolly told me…”Give yourself permission to move forward with your dreams! So this interview is for you!”.

Thank you Lolly!

For the purpose of length and purpose of message I am going to split the interview in 3 posts. Today is about: “Be who you want to be”.

___________________________________________________________________________

Question 1: Who is Lolly Daskal?

I am an individual who is a student of life and a work in progress.

I never think I know everything, I am a kind of person that always says I don’t know enough, that’s why I read a book a day, that’s why I tried when I know someone new, I try to be really present, as I truly believe I can learn from every single person that I meet.

Question 2: How did you come with the essence of Lead From Within and building this as your legacy?

I had a very traumatic childhood. But  without talking about the childhood there were a lot of struggles that I had, and I always looked for help outside. Who is going to save me? The kind of victim’s mentality. Who would make my life better?

And I will never forget, when I was around 18 years old, and I kept finding myself very disappointed that nobody was coming to save me from the dilemma I was in. Somebody gave me the book called “Man’s Search for Meaning”, from Viktor Frankl. I read the book and changed my life. I read now the book every year on my birthday. It’s is the fundamentals of who I am today.

And it is the WHO I became.

You could be the worst situation, I was living the Holocaust, talk about people that who were hungry, who were dying, but if you find meaning in something you can move beyond the difficult situation, and that was the moment after reading that book, I stopped looking for who is going to help me and I knew if anything was gonna get better it would had come from within.

And I never forget I was walking somewhere, and I was telling myself, I have to Lead From Within! It has to become from you! It had become a mantra of mine.

Now, in order to find yourself to lead from within,  you need to know yourself.

That’s why in that early stage I became the reader, the inquisitor, the questioner, the curious one.

In my kind of upbringing asking questions was frowned upon, because the way I grew up in a society, in a community where you told do it, you will do it. You don’t ask why!

And so, I am the person, who said WHY? I want to understand if resonates with me, and I did not have mentors or anybody in my life that I could look up and  could become the person I wanted to be, so it had to become from books. So Viktor Frankl became my first mentor, Joseph Campbell became my second one, and Carl Gustav Jung become my third mentor.

These three individuals have made who I am today. They have taught me that is not the How, the What, the When, the Where, it’s the WHO you are, that is where everything begins.

Please don’t make the excuses that you don’t have the right environment, I fought against that, just because I grew up in a certain environment doesn’t mean I have to be a product of that environment, I can change by doing the things can feed me and nourishing me. So reading books has made me who I am today.

___________________________________________________________________________Lolly_Daskal interview_Be who you want to be

Inspiring!

This message really resonates with me, and I really want to pass the message!

Follow Your Dreams and become who you really want to be no matter what!

Thank you

AnnaJo

My American Dream

In May of 2016, me and my family moved from UK to USA, through my work. I had applied to a role in the headquarters in New Jersey and… I got the job. It wasn’t a promotion, it was just a dream coming true, my American Dream!

We were doing good and very settled in UK, I was performing in my job, had a great team, friends, and my husband was happy also in his job.

So…why do I want to move to America?

I tried to answer so many times to this question that I still can’t have a good answer. But the dream was there and used to share it to my family, friends, and managers, to test myself how far I was from this dream…

I didn’t have a formal plan, but within my company, I had the hope it could happen, and if I socialized eventually it would really happen. My family had to be prepared, can’t be a surprise. But I should have done a good job here, as once at school, in a parents conference, the teacher asked me when I was moving to America, as Henrique, my son, was talking about that in class. I got so surprised, as this was way before I had an offer and there was no real plan at that time. But you know, I answered that we didn’t have a date yet, but it was in plan within my company.

When I had the offer to move, as a good surprise for me, the comments I got were like: “this was what you were dreaming for a such a long time! You did it”.

There was this feeling of doubt in me…did I achieve a dream?

I felt…I need more than this…I had a need…, bigger than the dream itself…I didn’t understand what was it in the beginning, but then I got it! It was the acknowledgement of the journey and the next big dream!

The acknowledgement of the journey was beautiful! So much that I decided to organize my own farewell at work… I prepared my last day, a TED TALK, with a tittle Follow Your Dreams.

And…I was saying this TED TALK was a preparation and practice for my next big dream, which was to perform a real TED TALK.

I remember, it was a big challenge, trying to have a speech for 18 min, trying to have a good script, trying to beat the fear to talk about me at work, trying to not run away before I would do it! I remember I was so nervous!! But loved each moment! Love the preparation and support that I had from the people and leaders over there! Very blessed!

I think with my move I forgot about my next big dream, to do a real TED TALK, but I want to have that dream alive again…and socialize it…and work on it. It is one of my goals now! I am daring to say it! 😊

I wanted also to acknowledge that the journey of every dream is so important for our growth…and dare to dream and talk about that is one of the steps! Be ashamed…it’s ok, it’s normal! But please read the book Dare to Lead from Brene Brown, and I am sure will help to put that feeling in perspective.

After living in America for 3 years, and just now started to be in the journey of a blogger and an influencer made me think….Why did I have the dream to come to America?

After recently reflecting on this, I think it was my belief that moving to America I would Give Myself Permission to Dream.

As stated in the farewell card from my team in UK:  ‘Off to sample the American Dream!”

My_American_Dream

The big message is: DARE TO DREAM, please!

Thanks

AnnaJo

Dreams and goals live together

This week was very focus on goals…first at work we had a deadline to have the goals in the system, so even if we don’t give it as a priority, we had to have it completed. It turned out a great thing as we needed to give time to do it, no matter what.

But then is about how much we are going to take it at the heart, and in my experience, it is very hard to focus on the goals, looks like it is secondary in the daily activities. I really try to have it in mind, but then it is about to follow up, to monitor, to measure, take action…and turns out a lot of work, which then it is not necessary a priority. I am talking about work and about personal life.

For the last couple of years, in the New Year we had been talking about what are the new year resolutions, and this year we (I mean me and my family) actually wrote them down in a template, and we are doing something about that. I feel it is being quite challenging but, if we have the awareness it is easier to recognize the accomplishment, and easier to celebrate!

Man!!! We have all the benefits to build our goals, and be mindful about them!

I learned a lot at work and the model and templates we use is very useful. Also I have been reading some books, and I like to have it in sections of life, like: Self, Home, Work, Community. (from Total Leadership- Stew Friedman).

Then when we identify what to develop we need to be aware what the competencies we need to develop, so we can have them and practice in other subjects of our life.

All our goals need to be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timely.

The goals in our life can be built with a set of milestones of a roadmap, and of course they are not static, as the things we don’t know and can’t predict can change our dreams.

When I was 7 years old, I wanted to be a Flight attendant, when I was 14 a journalist, when I was 16, I wanted to be a doctor, then at the age of 21, Chemical Engineer, and now in my late thirties I want to be a coach!

WOW!!! A lot of change! But the life is like that, we learn, we grow and reset the goals, but the learnings, the competencies that we are uploading in ourselves is the most valuable thing in our life!

Funny also is the capacity to dream!

Lately I am saying to my family that they don’t need to worry about about money! I am going to be rich in 5 years! Having the full money for college of my son, fund the retirement of my parents… It is a good goal! What I am going to do about that?

I did the Euro millions, the lottery, while I was in Portugal! Not even a single match number!!! I can’t control that, apart keep playing and spend that lucky money which doesn’t mean nothing to me.

So be happy and get rich! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I feel like laugh when I say that! It doesn’t look like true! But I can work in the milestones…perhaps I can start to think what makes me happy…finding my WHY (Simon Sinek), and build my roadmap from there, the Visonboard, with my goals identified.

Dreams_and_goals_live_together

July 2011- Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, NYC

Wait for more to come…it starts to be a journey!

After this post…don’t think in goals quite yet, but think in what is your DREAM!

Then we will build the plan after that.

Thank you

AnnaJo