During college, I had a job as a teacher. I taught physics and chemistry at a high school. I started as a sub, but then I was offered a full time job.
Now if you do the math, I was close to the age of my students. I was 21 years old, and my students were between the ages of 16 to 17.
At the time, the age difference was an issue for some. Everybody was telling me I was too young to teach and my students couldn’t respect me because of my age. Everyone was telling me I should buy some clothes to look older to gain the respect of my students!
This seemed so strange to me. I was following the school dress code, so I really shouldn’t be worrying about getting different clothes, just so I would look older! Besides, I was wearing my white coat most of the time anyway! We did so many lab activities, they hardly ever saw what I was wearing! But I was new, so I decided to take their advice. They suggested new pants, grey, no jeans, and loose shirts with a blazer.
I was excited so I did what I should have been doing. Following these rules gave me the feeling I was promoted to adulthood.
Now I understand I was being promoted to the world of SHOULDS.
I should dress in a certain way!
I should have this type of job!
I should be promoted by this time!
I should take my kids to this school!
I should do these types of activities with my family!
I should talk a certain way!!
I should be thinner!
I should put my daughter to bed at 8pm!
And it just keeps on going!
Sometimes, when someone tells me I should do something, I ask why. The answer is usually some version of, “Everybody does, you should too…”
Twenty years later, some of the SHOULDS wore off! I realized some things that “should” be, don’t have to be. But now, age is again a problem. Before the shoulds came from the expectation of the things I should be accomplishing and moving towards, but now, it’s the expectation of staying where I am. I’m older now, so I shouldn’t try something else. It feels like a demotion, starting over in life, whatever it is.
I hear people say I am too old for a career change! I am too old to build my business. I tried to do that thing in the past, but it didn’t work, and now it’s too late to try again. So they say I might as well not do anything about it. Just stay put.
But what I am realizing is, people get frustrated because they got trapped on the SHOULD WORLD, and moreover, they’re feeling guilty. They should be happy for what they have, and ignore feeling some kind of emptiness at the end of the day.
The bottom-line is, all these feelings you’re having are the expectations you let others place upon you. You build your life according to the standards you know you will be accepted, loved, and cared for.
The fact is, if you are not living the life that fulfills you, you have the power to look for more.
Dare to Dream. The people who really love you will accept you and support you.
Age is not a barrier, keeping you from your Dream or your search for a fulfilled life.
Also accept that the Dream can change overtime, and that is okay too.
What’s important is the journey you take as you continue to look to yourself, to have goals, to reinvent yourself.
My advice for any of you who want to keep dreaming:
- Visualize your dream
- Plan specific goals with specific time frames
- Take action toward your goals
- Celebrate each milestone on the way
This is not age specific, it comes from the heart and soul.
Keep on Dreaming, 2022 is almost here!
And if in any case, you hear yourself saying, “I am too old for this,” just close your eyes and ask yourself: Do I think I am too old for this, or do I think other people will think I’m too old?” Visualize yourself accomplishing that Dream. How does that make you feel? Maybe it’s something worth pursuing if you can Dream about crossing that finish line.
Do you have any Dreams that you visualize for yourself? Is something keeping you from going for it?
In my One Dream One Plan in 90 Days coaching program, you and I work together to pinpoint your dream and develop a personalized plan to get you across the finish line!
Want to know more? Schedule a discovery call with me and we can discuss the program and go over how I can help!