Remove the Negativity

The other day I heard from my husband that I was too negative!

I looked at him shocked, thinking how is that possible, ME, the person who promotes and sells positivity all over!

But then I realized I was sharing my concerns regarding my son traveling alone to Portugal. I was giving him a list of IFs! 

If he talks to strangers on the flight, he could be kidnapped.

If he swims in the ocean too far, because he’s not a strong swimmer, he may drown.

If he does those flips in the swimming pool, he may hit his head.

Well, my list kept going and going, and my husband looked at me, smiled, and said, “I know it can be scary letting our 14 year old baby boy be independent! It will be okay!”

And then at that moment, I realized, it’s true. Those fears are normal. As mothers, our brains spot the danger and have the need to be able to control the situation.

This is a personal example, but I am sure it happens at work as well.

A reorganization at work, with a new boss, the immediate thought is, “Am I going to be fired?” not “Am I going to be promoted?”

Having all these thoughts is human nature. It is a way for our brain to protect ourselves from possible adverse situations and be prepared in case something does happen.

I feel that people amplify those thoughts to a certain level, and they overlook reality. It’s incredibly draining. That doesn’t give them the holding space to think of alternative outcomes, and their mood and motivation go down!

So here is the easy way to think about negativity:

There are two possible factors that your negativity can come from: external influences and internal influences. Either something in the environment you’re in is creating the negativity you’re experiencing, or it’s coming from within; your own thoughts and fears.

Of course, the way you handle those two situations are very different.

For external influences, you must change or improve your position in that situation. Whether that’s leaving the environment you’re in or trying any possible way to reduce the noise that is making you feel that way. Turn off the news, stop scrolling through social media, or even set boundaries for the people that are bringing that negativity into your life.

Internal influences are when it’s just you causing the negativity. But surprisingly, it’s often harder to control. It’s entirely up to you.

So you must find activities and habits that improve your overall mindset. I’ve come up with 3 ways to help myself overcome the negative thoughts I’m having:

1. Spend energy – Exercise! Get your body moving! If your body is spending its energy on movement, it won’t have the energy to worry later!
2. Relax your mind – Meditate, take a long bath, do a craft. Give your mind something else to think about, instead of what’s making you feel worried or anxious. 
3. Share your thoughts – Find someone you trust, like a family member, or even a professional. Unloading those thoughts can oftentimes be enough to remove them, at least for a little while. 

I’ve made a chart to show you the process of removing the negativity. This is a step by step visual so you can see where you are in your mindset shift, and what you can do to get past it!