How many times a day do you say or think “I can’t!”?
Perhaps more than you think.
I know you are not alone.
I grew up not thinking about following my dream.
I grew up in an environment that pushes me to create a good and safe life.
Actually, in my 20s I used to be so sure about what I wanted and the future seemed to be so clear!
Arriving in my 30s, the feeling of “Is that it?” started to hit me!
I have a good job, a beautiful family, and I am so grateful for it!
Then my main struggle is the time! I have a very busy life!
I am juggling the time with my children’s activities, school, sports, birthday parties, then I know I have to workout, cook, not to mention have a house that needs to be cleaned and organized!
The conversations between me and my husband are mainly about who is doing what that we almost sound like task managers!
We had to say STOP it!!! This can’t be our life!
I don’t want to feel it is an indulgence going to Wegman’s alone, and sit down for a cup of coffee by myself before I do the grocery shopping!
I look to my husband, and he always had a hobby.
I never had a hobby before!
I need to admit, I used to be a blocker of his “extra activities”, as in his spare time I wanted to be with him, like going to a mall seemed a better option. I used to judge him all the time as family time is more important!!
I used to think if I don’t have time for hobbies he shouldn’t have time either! So my husband and I used to argue, and he used to tell me to “find a hobby that you like!”
My answer used to be: “No I can’t!”…
It was hard for me to look for an opportunity to have something else in my life. Even a workout was very difficult to plan. I was the type that pays a gym membership and never goes anyways.
Until there was a time I had to stop saying I can’t!
Instead, I started to ask myself, “How can I?”
I can’t workout because I don’t have time!
Instead, how can I make time to workout?
I can’t go out with my husband because I don’t have time, too much going on in the house!
Instead, how can I make time and plan a date with my husband?
I can’t attend Book Clubs as I don’t have time to read.
Instead, how can I make time to read?
If it is important to you, you will find a way. You will plan, move things around, as you do when your children have different activities at the same time.
My friend in Portugal told me she wanted a life change but she doesn’t know what!
I said: start to look for things you like, start to google!
She has 2 kids, and the first thing she told me was, “No I can’t! I need to drive my kids for all the sports events, and they need me with homework.”
I know that feeling! I am a mom too!
But when I asked her if she can ask other parents for carpooling during some sports activities, she said NO, when I asked her if she asked other parents about carpooling, she said NO!!
Seriously, stop saying NO! Just that!
Using the words “How Can I” puts you in a place of creation, which means you will automatically be looking for a solution.
The words “I can’t” automatically beat you down, your brain starts to be in a mode of defense and negativity.
If it is important, ask yourself: HOW CAN I?
What strategies do you use to break off any limiting beliefs you have? Share them to us in the comments below!
Ana this post really spoke to me! I love the “how can I… “pivot!! Brilliant!
Right!!?? It is so simple and it works. So glad you liked it.
“How can I?” I think these three words will change my life too.
It really makes a mindset shift. So happy it resonates with you. Thank you.
Totally true Anna 🙂 when you really want something you will find a way:)
Thank you. Something to have in mind to follow our Dreams. 😘