When I used to listen to “Believe in Yourself” it used to come to my judgmental place in mind of “yeah, yeah, yeah!!”. And this worked for me to ignore and not even think about what it really means.
It is bad, but where I come from, it is how it works. Do what you should be doing! Do what everybody does! Go a get a good life! And the sense of good life is not really what you want, but what life gives to you. And the ones who can achieve more, are the lucky ones.
But let’s think back when we are babies, children.
I will start with an example of Sir Ken Robinson when you are little kid, and you are asked “Do you know how to sing?”, they absolutely would say yes with no shame of their performance, but then as grown-up, you won’t dare to say yes unless you are a professional singer!
Well, babies and toddlers don’t have shame in their actions. They cry if they want something, they laugh if they are happy, they eat if they are hungry, they don’t care about how they look like, they are not afraid to be who they are!
They are babies, cute children and we love to see them being actually with a very strong personality!
How many people have heard this? My kid has a great strong personality! 😊
Then we grow up, we learn the rules of society, the rules of fitting in! The rules of being well behaved.
I can talk from myself… I learned all those rules, of course! So much that is hard for me to believe in myself, I need constant reassurance, I need to have people surrounding me saying I am good enough!
This week I listened during a meetup I had in NYC:
“We need to unlearn some of the things that were taught to us and try new things in our life. Be conscious of the failure, and accept it.
The newborns are only afraid of 2 things, dark and heights, everything else they learn, means we learn all our fears, and the fear of believing in ourselves and be judged is huge!
But the unlearning part is tough, much more difficult than learning new things!”
So, for me, it is about baby steps! Means the 3 things I consider to Believe in Myself for real, and I feel it is only a starting point, but I feel it is a start, just like when you start to work out, you start the routines for beginners. 🙂
So, I call the 3 tips to Believe in Yourself for Beginners.
1 – YET – the call on YOU –
When you say I can’t, I am not, this is not for me…if it is something from your interest, add the word YET. I can’t do it YET, I am not YET, this is not for me YET.
The YET word gives you a sense of unfinished action, so your mind goes to a natural problem-solving mode, to find a solution to accomplish what you are not capable of, believing, doing.
2 – 12 seconds – the call on others –
When someone says, it is too difficult don’t bother, never mind, this is for others, or even when they put you in their group of assumptions like “I know, we the moms don’t have time for nothing, you know how it is, we barely have time to shower!”.
Please… give yourself 12 seconds to think, before you can take this in as your truth. The bibliography says different timings, but between 7-12 seconds is the time your brain goes from reaction mode to thinking mode.
Within the 12 seconds follow:
Don’t accept it!
Think who is this person first? There is a book from Rachel Hollis, Girl Stop Apologizing, she presents a flowchart showing you can listen to others, but to consider first who is this person to you, then think if what they are saying is what you feel is right for you.
Then passed the 12 seconds you are free to choose if you want to take or nor the considerations of others.
3 – Verbalize it – quietly thinking, thinking, and thinking is not bad (there are people who are so blocked they don’t even dare to think in their purpose), so the thinking part is good. But verbalize it…or write it, so it brings the action to you.
This can be done in different ways. But the words Believe in Yourself, have to come out of your body.
If you write in your journal. Dang! Good.
If you write it in your post-it and put it in your fridge!! Good.
If you say it out loud for you in the shower!! Good.
If you say it to your team, family or friends!! Very good!
All this comes to a very simple summary of the journey of Believe in Yourself!
Don’t assume you can’t do it, don’t let others opinions command yourself, and if you share it, it starts to feel real.
I hope you are ready for the Holiday season!
Enjoy!! Be grateful!
And Believe in Yourself!
What a great post! Thank you Ana!