Last weekend, when I wrote the post about the 4 domains of Life and the assessment of the time through those domains: Self, Home, Work, Community, I got shocked that currently i don’t have a circle of community! The other ones, like big in work, then home, and smaller in Self is expected, but I didn’t realize about community…
Then I was thinking, my activities which aren’t work, aren’t home based and not for myself… like being a soccer mom, chaperone some of the events at school (not so many, but a couple per year), I considered family!
Friends…are community! Sadly…I don’t have a big group of friends, I have good colleagues at work, but friends, I didn’t reach that level yet.
Well, pretty sad, if I think like that! Right?
So I decided to make first a reflection of the WHY. I am not a bad person, I love to connect and actually I am an extrovert. So what is going on?
After doing a retrospective in time, we have moved to live in different countries 3 times in 8 years. We choose for an International career.
We found different cultures and completely different ways to interact with people. I believe these experiences made me and my family grow imensily. Our resilience, our capacity to come over problems quicker, the core family getting closer and the ability to look at things in a different perspective made us get out of our comfort zone, and be more flexible.
But everything has a cost… and have a community is important. I remember when I had my baby last year, I didn’t have anyone to stay with me just after giving birth, as my husband had to work because he was a contractor.
But at the same time, I had my neighbors coming to my house, even if I didn’t know them very well, they were knocking the door, asking if I need anything, with a tray of food.
This was beautiful!!
The same situation where I was feeling lonely, I had a great experience that made me connect closer to my new neighborhood with a new baby, and I have to admit, there wasn’t a day that someone didn’t come to my house… I feel grateful and blessed, I went to live in this neighborhood.
Also I am learning it is about us to give the step to connect more and take more the initiative…this takes time, but it is worth it. We are going always to be the foreign people, but this doesn’t mean a bad thing.
I believe it is a question of time that I will create the feeling and the habit of being part of a community, and increase the size of my community domain. I think it is about to adopt the giving mindset, and look after an environment where my heart connects and wants to give back.