I am a soccer mom!
The status of a soccer mom is the one who has a child playing soccer and attend almost of all the games and some practices, and during game actively cheer to their team and their kids.
I have realized that the cheering part sometimes is a bit overcheering, as it happened already being told by the referee or the team coach to be quite.
Well, I wasn’t really a soccer fan and didn’t understand what a good player looked like, but now I know everything about good foots kills, being tactical, physical, speed! You name it!
Also there are these long conversations about soccer and our children in soccer and of course the coach. This is all new for me, as in Europe it wasn’t like this at all. But here the competition is much visible and present, where the feeling of the opportunity to be the next Cristiano Ronaldo only depends if you are a hard worker and play with passion and dedication.
With these values I need to confess, I passed very quicly from the mom who was there to have her son having fun to a mom who wants their kids to be the best, the one who knows the goals, and give 100% everytime…
I love this drive… I am not sure if they are the right ones for a child 10-12 years old, though…
He is now in the Elite league, which means is already an academy level, and the commitment expected from the players and from the parents are quite high. This means a lot of weekends we are out of the town and sometimes out of state for tournmaents. This commitment starts from the point where you decide that your son will do the tryouts. As it is quite difficult to make the team, so when you make it, the kids and the parents get another status and it starts to be new priority of the family.
I am being learning this new environment, and after 2 years that my son is in this Elite team, I am questioning if it is worth it. What are the learnings that my son is having to live this experience? I am not anymore in the level of, “I am here and I just want my son to have fun”. I know, I am not!! And I am not sure if it is good or not, but I have seen my son growing so much that I believe in it. And I believe that he can transfer these learnings for other things in his future. But be happy is also important…means he needs to have fun also, and lately he is being struggling.
I am always trying to play the devil of advocate and give him the perspective of the failure as an opportunity to learn and make the next game/practice even better. And encourage him to practice even more, at home in the park as hard work will pay off, I normally say to him.
But this week I had the feedback from his performance and one comments from the coach is that he uses the “Prove me that I am wrong” strategy to fire up my son. In the moment I actually got happy, and said “Now I understand why he spends so much time in the bench”…I felt in that moment there were a belief that my son has the right potential so he needs to be the best when he is in the field, and like Tom Brady once said, be prepared to give the 5 min game the best of the 60 min.
Then he had a game during the weekend. Again the awareness of this and his tears at the end as they lost all the games of the tournament, and his fear and disappointment of failure, not because they lost the game, but because the coach told them they were crap, made me think!!!
Should I stay in the bleaches watching this as a passive soccer mom? I know in the organizations negative feedback, manage with fear and tension is not applicable for high perfomance. In sports after reading some sources, it is used sometimes for some teams and specific moments, but as a constant is not the right leadership.
I know for sure I want to have my son to live a good experience in his life, it doesn’t need to be all stars and sunshine, but learn from there…if it is becoming more time of anxiety, stress and disappointment rather than joy and focus in the results, what should I do?
This is an elite team, I am a lucky soccer mom which actually have the best team in my town, so it is so convenient!…but man!!!, the parents need to stand up for their children, and the coach and the club need to receive the feedback what is going on. And me as a soccer mom, can’t be afraid to I speak up.
So yeah! The fun activity of being a soccer mom, it is becoming a very emotional situation… but there is one thing: my son needs me.