I am being busy! But who is not at this time of the year!
At work it is being a bit busier, as it is coming the end of the year, so there are on top of the normal work, the End Year Review with my team, it is happening a recruiting process in my team, and this time of the year, there are a lot of requests for formal feedback to different people in the organization…
Also, as I am trying to keep up with the blog, improving it, and trying to learn all the steps to grow, including attending some events in NYC, makes me a bit busier than usually.
This means that me and my husband are all day planning and cover each other with our children because we don’t have a backup, like our family living close by. So it is a fact that my husband is the one lately taking care more of our baby girl. I think it is ok, but in the last 2/3 weeks, she is refusing to come to me when I arrive home!
This makes me feel so bad, and I can’t control the guilty feeling, I am having all my priorities wrong, and I am being such a bad mom.
I mentioned this at work, and all of them saying things like, “It’s so good that your baby is bonding with daddy, I wish my daughter would do the same!”, or, “No worries it is a baby girl, and the girls are for daddy!”. Well I have to say all these statements don’t make me feel better, so I went to working moms blogs as crazy to see what they were saying out there. And I found there are some situations like that, and me as an adult needs to work on this feelings…ufff!! but if I need to do this exercise at work, why do I need to work on my feelings at home…I didn’t think about this before.
Well…I am learning to get away of these feelings, going from “My baby girl doesn’t like mommy”, to “My baby girl misses mommy and that’s why she is crying, and I always be there for her, now and in her whole life”, and you know what this helps! Really helps! In fact the things are changing already, not sure if it is her or me!
I am following the theory of internal conflict, first put things in perspective, then try to understand the situation, and just after choose the behavior. Of course in this situation, I choose to cuddle my baby, and I give her mommy’s talk as always. Learning to build my emotional agility at home! It’s ok to feel it is not fair and feel guilty, but if I believe I am doing the right thing, I will have soon those cute giggles when mommy arrives home. And you know what, in the perspective exercise I realized, it is me who puts her in bed everyday, and nobody else can get her to sleep as mommy!
I think this situation can mimic the resilience as a leader that we talk so much at work, and if I am capable to handle this situation, manage myself first then control the environment, I believe I can transfer this situation for future conflicts recognizing the basic feeling, rejection! And learn from it!